As your faithful reporter, I am sure you are aware of my job, may I say duty to report on the vast dangers surrounding us here in the wilds of Whisper Creek. Just when we all thought it was safe to wander the inner sanctum of our guarded gates, a new, terrifying menace has been introduced into our ecosystem.
The Florida Department of Natural Resources (hint THE GOVERNMENT) in their infinite wisdom has decided to release hordes of lookalike robot bunnies into the Florida Everglades to help control the menace of Burmese Pythons. Fitted with solar-powered heaters and motors, the roborabbits mimic the warmth and movement of real rabbits, a favorite food of the large snakes. They claim that the waterproof rabbits are connected to motion detection cameras that alert park officials when a python comes close.
So they claim.
Just the other day, I was on a walk with my Springer Sophie when a rabbit jumped out of a bush, froze, keeping its eyes on my dog. So the question here is: Was this really a rabbit or was it a GOVERNMENT roborabbit keeping its eye on me and mine. I suspect the latter.
I called the DNR to complain and was referred to someone in the PR department. I talked to her with great clarity and conviction, carefully laying out my case of government overreach. I told her about the furry robotic spy and its invasion into my personal space. She asked for my name (I gave her a fake one to avoid further harassment) then she laughed at me and hung up! The nerve!
I try to be a good citizen. I pay my taxes when asked nicely and mostly drive on my side of the road. I try to remember to use my turn signals and once, finding an unpaid item in my basket, I went back into the Walmart to scan and pay for it. I think on the list of great citizens I am perhaps a 9 or at the very least an 8.
But it gives me great cause to worry when I find that I am being watched by a furry stalker disguised as a little bunny. I am here to call for an investigation by Congress into this egregious invasion into my personal rights and or space.
So what is next for us here in the Whisper Creek? What are THEY going to do now to take away our freedom and constitutional rights? Will it be Preprogrammed Possums? Radio Controlled Raccoons? Synthetic Swine? Or the dreaded AI Alligator? I urge all of you to be on high alert at all times. I know I am going to be!
Now I am sure that all of you know that I am a humor based writer but when these kinds of things happen, I find it best to let you all know. And if you see me wandering the back roads of Whisper Creek with my baseball bat and my tin foil hat (to avoid detection by satellites) carefully surveying the streets, please give me plenty of room. I’m on the hunt for a roborabbit!
✍️. MEET THE AUTHOR
Fellow Whisper Creeker Greg Stangl comes to us from the great state of Wisconsin. He and his wife Colleen spend summers on Lake Wisconsin and enjoy the leisurely winter months here in our little paradise together with their beautiful Springer Spaniels Isabella Rosalini and Sophia Loren.
One of Greg’s passions is writing. He has published works in 10 national magazines and also authored workbooks employed in photography and marketing. Whisper Creeker News is both honored and excited that Greg shares his creative writing talents with us as well.
ENJOY GREG’S ARTICLES AT THE WHISPER CREEKER NEWS BI-MONTHLY!
