I have been getting calls from my kids and sibs asking what I want for Christmas this year, and I can honestly say that I don’t need or want anything. I got it all. A wonderful winter home here at Whisper Creek packed with great friends and a home on a lake with fantastic neighbors. What more could a man want?
I got health, happiness and a wonderful wife that puts up with my weirdness and a couple of dogs that think I am a god of some sort. But for those who insist on some kind of gift giving effort, I am here listing the Top Ten Things I DO NOT want for Christmas.
- I really don’t want anything that’s alive. Please no plants or pets, I have all I need. Living things need to be taken care of and I just don’t have any interest in promoting the life of another creature except of course my family (and aforementioned dogs, of course).
- Fruit Cake. Don’t like them, don’t care for them. Will not eat them. Don’t even think about it.
- Please, nothing re-gifted. Unless of course I gave it to you last Christmas ~ then it’s ok to return it.
- I really hate singing wall fish. I promise you, I’ll throw it in the pond. They’re not funny and they drive the dogs nuts.
- A coffin with prepaid funeral arrangements. I’ll let my wife take care of that. But thanks for thinking of me.
- A few years back someone gave me a generalized gift card of some sort. I had to go to some website to pick out something and I got all confused and never cashed it. I’m sure the thought was there, but the gift was not.
- Please, no diet or exercise-related stuff. Yes, I know I’m a little tubby but my wife loves me and that’s all that matters.
- A gift certificate for a pedicure or a massage or manicure. My nails and feet and back are just fine. Thanks anyway.
- Please, no padded toilet seats. I fell off of one causing a big stink. No pun intended.
- I don’t need any tickets for any plays, movies, lectures or religious revivals. But I appreciate the thought.
And there you have it, things I don’t want. Now if you have any extra cash laying around or a 2026 red Corvette you’re not using, well wrap it up and send it along. Also… my birthday is New Years Eve, and you can pretty much refer to that list for birthday presents…
In any event. “Merry Christmas everyone. Happy Holidays To All!” Greg
✍️ MEET THE AUTHOR
Fellow Whisper Creeker Greg Stangl comes to us from the great state of Wisconsin. He and his wife Colleen spend summers on Lake Wisconsin and enjoy the leisurely winter months here in our little paradise together with their beautiful Springer Spaniels Isabella Rosalini and Sophia Loren.
One of Greg’s passions is writing. He has published works in 10 national magazines and also authored workbooks employed in photography and marketing. Whisper Creeker News is both honored and excited that Greg shares his creative writing talents with us as well.
